Final

The end of my summer wrapped up pretty well. Although I did not make it to any Broadway shows, I did have one of the most educational summers of my life. I learned so much this summer about myself. This helped me to better understand what I may want to do once I graduate as well as just how hard it will be.

Two of the hardest lessons I learned were that I cannot always help and no matter how much you love someone sometimes bad things will still happen. A boy we will call “M” was moved to my group due to his behavior in his previous color group. He was definitely known to all of the leaders as one of the hardest kids to teach. I like to think of my relationship with him as one of my biggest accomplishments this summer.

Disciplining M was so much harder than disciplining other kids because his emotions can vary greatly in a split second. Each time I tried to “help” him not hurt another child he would yell,“don’t touch me you %*$#@.” This happened about three times a day when I started working with him. Other times he would kick the shins or punch the cheek of anyone near him. And there was absolutely no means for calming him down when he didn’t want to listen. I like to describe his anger tantrums as him “hulking out.” He would literally look like the Hulk right before he turns all green and muscular.

Thankfully our time together started to show him improving drastically. By the last few weeks of camp his tantrums started happening less frequently. He would come sit by me when he was angry, look at me and say,“Sara Kate, I’m going to sit here until I’m not angry anymore.” After a few minutes he would make a joke and give me the best smile in the world before getting up to go play. I was so proud! He even started apologizing on his own when he would punch me or call me names.

I also got to hangout with him at night. He would show up and knock on the intern door and ask for me. Then we would just sit out on the stoop and talk while he played temple run on my phone.  Somewhere in between getting hit and getting hugged, I discovered that maybe what I want to do with my life is work with kids like M who just need someone to love them no matter what.

I tried to tell him often, “M, I still love you no matter what you say or do.” The first few times he looked at me like I was crazy but eventually he began to smile as if to say, “I know, I know.” He started holding my hand anywhere we went and began to show more trust.

I already knew that M gets abused at home but I just found out that his family is getting kicked out of their apartment too. This means they will go live in a shelter and M and his brother will get put back into foster care. All of this breaks my heart. This is the point in the summer where I learned I cannot fix everything. I would adopt him myself if I could but I know that is not realistic. Honestly, I can hardly do anything for him, but I can pray for him.

This summer seemed to teach me more than any classroom time could for the tough reality of loving and helping kids who need me. I can’t take them all home. I can’t fix all of their situations by snapping my fingers. I can’t do a lot of things, but I can be present in their lives. I can work with them. I can teach them that they are meant for so much more than what they think they deserve.

Stay tuned for more short stories from my summer!